Teenagers in this generation like to be groupies who chase their favorite idols around, and I am not an exception. On weekend, I always be a groupie and go to singers' concerts. In face, there are two singers I like - Jolin and Show. To my surprised, I find they have similiarly personality and their way to become a singer are alike. First, Jolin and Show are very hard-working singers. Everytime when they publish their new ablums, they always change their singing and dancing style which is the main reason their fans like them. Second, both of them are good at self-control because when they feel tried about their work or get sick, they never complain or cry out in front of the audiences. Last, Jolin and Show are not popular at the beginning of their singing career. However, instead of giving up themselves, they started to learn more things such as singing skills, dancing, acting and so on. As the saying goes, "Where there is a will, there is a way." Joiln and Show are both good examples. As their biggest fan, I hope I could become a person with such great personality like them someday.
To my surprised, surprised沒有d吧!!
回覆刪除similiarly personality 前面的詞如果要修飾後面名詞就不要ly
Everytime這是adj喔~ 分開才是副詞
audience不可數喔!
是On weekends,
回覆刪除是TO my surprise,
similarly是副詞!要改成形容詞的similar~
其他沒問題了!!
I always be a groupie (I am always a ..)
回覆刪除there are two singers I like - Jolin and Show(怪怪的，覺得少了什麼東西XDD)
To my surprised(surprise)
their way to become a singer are alike. (ways)
Everytime when they publish their new ablums(every time , every time 後面應該不用再加when吧!)
ablums(albums)
On weekend->weekends
回覆刪除Everytime when they ~ when跟everytime應該留一個就可以了
*第五行的everytime跟when只要留一個就好了，兩個都是連接詞。
回覆刪除*On weekend, I always be a groupie~.
→On weekends, I'm always a groupie~.
*In face→你是要寫In fact八?
*To my surprised, I find they have similiarly personality~。surprised→surprise，similiarly→ similar。
我喜歡你的開頭~:)