If I have a chance to have an interview with a celebrity, I'd like to interview Yani Tseng(曾雅妮).  Not only is she a professional golf player, but she is also the proud of Taiwan.  She has won a lot of prize since 2007 when she became a professional player.  This year, in 2011, she won the first prize in Australia.  From then on, she is ranked number 1 in the Women's World Golf Ranking. To my surprise, she is only twenty three years old and is the youngest player who becomes number 1 in LPGA. Therefore,  the first question that I want to ask her is how it feels to become a such famous player in such young age?  Second, I will ask her why she wants  to be a professional player?  It's because most girls at her age care about how they look like or what should they wear for parties instead of having rigorous training 8 hours a day. Third, I want to ask her what kind of difficulty did she come to while she is a professional player?  Just as the saying goes, "Practice makes perfect."  Hence, I think everyone must have suffering time when they try to make something perfect.  However, if I really have a chance to interview her, I think it will become the best experience that I have ever had and I will learn a lot of things because of her spirit.
 
how it feels to become a such famous player in such young age? (是how she feels 吧!?)
回覆刪除what kind of difficulty did she come to (come to 好像不適合)
第四行she won the first prize in Australia
回覆刪除first前應該不用+the吧???
第七行連用兩個such耶...
要不要改看看才不會好像一直重複a_a
prize可數唷!
回覆刪除most girls中間要不要加of????
文章內容很豐富喔~
Therefore, ~ how "it" feels to become ~age?
回覆刪除改成she 比較好八!用it感覺怪怪的..
It's because most girls at her ~how they look like or~a day. like要去掉
文章寫的不錯喲!
我對曾雅妮有更進一步的認識了~
prize這是可數的唷~
回覆刪除professional這個字似乎出現蠻多次的
應該可以替換其他詞
Therefore,~how it feels~ it要改成she喔
回覆刪除Third,~did she come to~ come要不要改成face之類的
整體很棒喔 雅妮台灣之光~~~~
第七行的in such young age和at her age的兩個age用了不一樣的介係詞哦~我絕得應該是at才對
回覆刪除錯誤大家都挑出來了:(
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