2011年6月1日 星期三

Discussing Cause - 2

  There several reasons why this music store was out of business.  First, there were two large music stores 3 miles away from shopping center.  Therefore, this small store wouldn’t have customers because people like to shop at large stores for the CDs’ price may cheaper than those at the small store.  Second, most of the CDs there were hip-hop and rock that people living there might not like, so I thought Mr. Williams should buy different types for customers to choose such as classical music, folk music and so on.  Third, the shop was open Monday to Friday from 1 to 5 p.m.  In fact, people usually do shopping on weekends or Friday night instead of on weekdays.  Finally, Mr. Williams’ s shop wouldn’t accept checks or credit cards that may bother those who usually use checks or credit cards.  These are the reasons why Mr. Williams closed his shop.

4 則留言:

  1. 第一行是There are唷!
    price加s(可數)
    instead of 要不要用rather than呢?(用字應該是沒錯只是我個人覺得rather than比較順....)
    結論句可再修改得好一點~

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  2. There several reasons why this music store was out of business. (there are)
    (bother) 好像有點怪怪的!!

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  3. *第一行there are~
    * ~the CDs’ price may cheaper ~→the price of the CDs' may "be" cheaper
    *倒數第二行的bother 有點怪~

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  4. 第一句沒動詞@@!!
    bother→both吧

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