2011年6月9日 星期四

Discussing Effects - 2

Acton is a small town in the Midwest.  It has a population of 2,500.  As the mayor in this town for ten years, I make all my efforts to protect this town from dangerous.  Last month, Stanly Manufacturing decided to open a large factory in Acton.  When I heard this news, I felt shocked because if the big factory builds in this quiet and clean place, it will bring several negative effects.  First of all, that factory will bring a lot of pollution.  Air in this town will filled with exhaust fumes and clear water will become waste water.   A lot of noise will be made because of the factory.  People living here will have a miserable life by all these pollution. 
  Second, with the factory in this town, the population will increase owing to many migrators from different areas.  In fact, on account of these migrators, the town’s public security will become more dangerous than before.  The committing rate will rise for those whose jobs are occupied by the people from other places or those who can’t find a job by the population is more than working opportunities.
  Third, though the small town may turn into the big city with the prosperous that the factory brings, people who live here will become aloof because everyone wants to make money instead of chatting with their neighbors.  Due to all of these reasons, I strongly disagree that the factory establish in this peaceful town.  As the mayor in this town for ten years, I will try my best to keep the dangerousness from Acton.

7 則留言:

  1. 1)第四行 if the big factory builds in this quiet ~的builds要改成built因為是被動
    2)第六行是不是要改成will be filled with? 我不確定所以你查一下八=ˇ=
    3)犯罪率我是查到crime rate欸 不曉得有沒有committing rate
    4)第三段的prosperous要改成名詞
    5)第三段第四行的Due to all of these reasons, I strongly disagree that the factory establish in this peaceful town. 的establish要改成被動

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  2. protect this town from dangerous.
    -->protect this town from danger.
    those whose jobs 感覺卡卡的= =
    by the population is more than working opportunities那個by改for
    倒數第二行establish要加s嗎????

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  3. from dangerous(from being dangerous)
    When I heard this news, (heard of)
    if the big factory builds(built)
    Air in this town will filled with exhaust fumes and clear water will become waste water. (fill)
    by the population is more than working opportunities.(by換成because好像會比較好)
    prosperous 是形容詞喔
    establish (established)

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  4. 金龍曰:你第一個字要空5到6格
    我也覺得要改成will be filled with
    為什麼每篇文章都樂樂等阿

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  5. *the big factory builds in this quiet and clean place→要用被動,the big factory will be built~.
    *Air in this town will filled with ~.→Air in this will fill with~.
    *People living here will have a miserable life by all these pollution.→as a result of the pollution (pollution 為不可數名詞)
    *prosperous 你是要寫prosperity ㄇ?

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  6. 第二行from dangerous介係詞後面要加名詞吧...
    第六行will filled with 中間要有be吧!
    第三段第一行prosperous 要改名詞唷
    第三段I strongly disagree that the factory establish in this peaceful town.
    establish要改被動式比較好吧...

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  7. * When I heard this news, I felt shocked because if the big factory builds ~. heard 要不要加about @0@? 然後後面的builds應該要改被動喔~
    * Air in this town will filled~. fill
    prosperous是形容詞

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